>The Journey To Closure

>Recent events in my life have brought me to the point where I must acknowledge I am searching for solace and am in need of closure. And it’s had me thinking….in a broader sense…of how each of us comes to a point in our lives where we are forced to seek closure to toxic relationships and oppressive situations. These relationships and situations do nothing but tear us down, slowly eroding our self esteem, our personal boundaries, and most important of all, our emotional stability and mental health.

Perhaps you’ve experienced something like this in your life…perhaps not. But if you haven’t, count yourself lucky. It takes time, after you come away from it, to heal and to feel grounded again. Often the wounds aren’t visible to the human eye because they are buried beneath the surface…in the psyche.

For me, this resulted from having someone I considered a dear friend and colleague jump to rash conclusions and become agitated. With that agitation, based on erroneous assumptions, came an abrupt halt to our professional relationship. And with the way our professional relationship ended, there also came an end to our personal relationship.

For three years I worked with this person; offering her my undying support, friendship and care. I stood by her side, when few others would, and helped preserve the things that she worked to establish. Whatever she needed of me, I offered up without reserve.

And then, because of one perceived mistake, I was treated as though I were a pariah in her presence who needed to be swept under the rug and forgotten. Not long after that, I was treated to an even worse punishment. I was publicly humiliated in such a way that she would appear the poor victim and I would seem the blighter who was abusing her in some way.

And in the interim, she ripped an entire community of sensitive souls apart through the public airing of our personal issues….our dirty laundry.

My reasons for writing this are purely selfish. There is no lesson to be had here (at least on the surface)….only my own personal need to understand what happened in those moments and to find some closure to the whole debacle. But whether I ever truly understand or not, one day, given enough time, I will find closure. And I will heal.

Namaste To Each Of You

~ by Misuchi Sakurai on April 26, 2011.