Sunrise

•July 27, 2011 • 2 Comments

Inquisitive thought inspired by the stop of time
Long lost meaning bleeding through the pages line by line
The ink gives structure to an otherwise confusing reality,
Drawing blood from the perception of mortality while
Simultaneously existing in a world fixed in duality.

An angel smiles at the dawning of the day
A voiceless whisper illuminates me back to guide my way
Her crystal tears wash away yesterdays sin
Sweeps it up in in the soft and gentle hands of the wind,
Never Again to reflected on the face of my kin.

Purple highlights entangles in a blaze of orange glow
Minute by minute, second by second I began to let go
Echoes of a dream reflected in her shine
Line by line Illustrated in this painted rhyme

Moment by moment the constellations began to die
Your song the hymn as the stars start to cry
A vision of light rips realities seam
A path illuminated by a crystal beam
Shows me the way back from this dream

Ever so slowly I began to understand
Your voice was the light that took me by the hand
Twisting my perception you continuously call me home
Behind the restrictions of life that have become overgrown
Reminding me always… your never alone.

The Empath Community and I

•July 8, 2011 • 5 Comments

About four years ago I was looking up the word Empath, hoping to find a place where I could meet other people like myself. I did that periodically over the years I’ve been online…usually to no avail. But this time I came across a place called Empath Community.

It’s owner embraced me, as did it’s members. And after sometime, it felt like a second home and my connection with those people much like a close nit family. We laughed together. We cried together. And we learned with one another through study and sharing. Even now, years later, each and every one of those people, from owner to lurkers, still mean a great deal to me for what each of them, in turn, offered to me by way of friendship, compassion, understanding and friendship. They were my teachers and my guides along the road of self discovery that I walked. And quite a few of them were the inspiration for many of the blogs on EP.

I became a moderator of this forum site, not to long after I joined. And soon after that, I began to write the many blogs here on Empathic Perspectives, though at the time it was a group on Empath Community instead of a blog site. As I grew in that position, of moderator, I began to steadily work with more and more of the people who came onto that site with question after question.

While there in the capacity of moderator, I witnessed fights amongst members, flame wars, heated religious debates, people attempting to play messiah to all of the wounded folk who came to EC, spammers, witch hunts, horrid apathy and ultimately, to many other negative things to mention in one blog. I also witnessed compassion, like I’d never seen before, deep abiding friendships forged out of common interests and needs, and so much love, that it would either rot your teeth (for being so damn sweet) or it would melt your heart because it was so warm and welcoming. More than once in my years on that site, did I find myself in tears, awestruck by the amazing energy that encompassed the site and it’s many members.

In the background of all that was happening on the site, I was stretching myself thin emotionally…ultimately to my breaking point. Each new menace on the site took it’s toll on me. Sometimes I felt like I was drowning in the needs of so many and I wanted so very much to help each and every person. But it took emotional exhaustion for me to realize that I couldn’t be all things to all people and still remain true to who I am. So I left both the moderator position and the site itself.

About a year later, after witnessing much deterioration on Empath Community within it’s chat room, I again took the job of moderator. I did it to bring some order back to the site and to give people some peace of mind. This meant, to some degree, that I had to be a hard ass, which left some members asking me, where was the old Misu who seemed to give without reserve, because she didn’t exist anymore. Of course, I had no real answer for them except to say I had grown and changed. And that I was important to me, as well as, all of those members seeking help.

The journey this blog is taking you on has now come to a time that is very recent, very close to the present, where I found myself once again suffering from emotional exhaustion and burnout. Doing the moderator thing was like going through the motions most of the time. But after all of those years of caring for this forum site and deep friendship (or so I thought) with it’s owner, I was summarily dismissed as a moderator with comments like my judgment was impaired. Accusations were laid to bear, as well, and judgments made, despite what I said or how honest I was. And because of this very traumatic incident, I broke down.

Now any reasonable person might ask how one can break down from stuff that happened on a forum site. And that would be a fair question. But anyone who has dedicated their time, willingly without expectation, to something they love and/or are passionate about, will tell you the same. You become emotionally invested in that experience. It is, in a way, an extension of you.

As things began to escalate on the site, I was banned. And then I was brought back with the offer of owning Empath Community, with the stipulation that I would have to endure public humiliation on the same site I was being offered. Upon my refusal and the establishment of new moderators on site, I was again banned from site, being told only that I was no a good fit for Empath Community.(the irony of this never ceases to make me laugh)

So from that time to now, I have been, for the most part, unable to write while I was nursing my broken heart and healing. But I getting better now and I feel more apt to be able to write. I also feel it necessary to say, that despite what happens publicly or privately, we (the writers of EP) will keep learning, growing, and sharing our many different perspectives with each and every one of you.

The Empath Community and I

•July 8, 2011 • 5 Comments

About four years ago I was looking up the word Empath, hoping to find a place where I could meet other people like myself.  I did that periodically over the years I’ve been online…usually to no avail.  But this time I came across a place called Empath Community.

 

It’s owner embraced me, as did it’s members.  And after sometime, it felt like a second home and my connection with those people much like a close nit family.  We laughed together.  We cried together.  And we learned with one another through study and sharing.  Even now, years later, each and every one of those people, from owner to lurkers, still mean a great deal to me for what each of them, in turn, offered to me by way of friendship, compassion, understanding and friendship.  They were my teachers and my guides along the road of self discovery that I walked.  And quite a few of them were the inspiration for many of the blogs on EP.

 

I became a moderator of this forum site, not to long after I joined.  And soon after that, I began to write the many blogs here on Empathic Perspectives, though at the time it was a group on Empath Community instead of a blog site.  As I grew in that position, of moderator, I began to steadily work with more and more of the people who came onto that site with question after question.

 

While there in the capacity of moderator, I witnessed fights amongst members, flame wars, heated religious debates, people attempting to play messiah to all of the wounded folk who came to EC, spammers, witch hunts, horrid apathy and ultimately, to many other negative things to mention in one blog.  I also witnessed compassion, like I’d never seen before, deep abiding friendships forged out of common interests and needs, and so much love, that it would either rot your teeth (for being so damn sweet) or it would melt your heart because it was so warm and welcoming.  More than once in my years on that site, did I find myself in tears, awestruck by the amazing energy that encompassed the site and it’s many members.

 

In the background of all that was happening on the site, I was stretching myself thin emotionally…ultimately to my breaking point.  Each new menace on the site took it’s toll on me.  Sometimes I felt like I was drowning in the needs of so many and I wanted so very much to help each and every person.  But it took emotional exhaustion for me to realize that I couldn’t be all things to all people and still remain true to who I am.

 

About a year later, after witnessing much deterioration on Empath Community within it’s chat room, I again took the job of moderator.  I did it to bring some order back to the site and to give people some peace of mind.  This meant, to some degree, that I had to be a hard ass, which left some members asking me, where was the old Misu who seemed to give without reserve, because she didn’t exist anymore.  Of course, I had no real answer for them except to say I had grown and changed.  And that I was important to me, as well as, all of those members seeking help.

 

The journey this blog is taking you on  has now come to a time that is very recent, very close to the present, where I found myself once again suffering from emotional exhaustion and burnout.  Doing the moderator thing was like going through the motions most of the time.  But after all of those years of caring for this forum site and deep friendship (or so I thought) with it’s owner, I was summarily dismissed as a moderator with comments like my judgment was impaired.  Accusations were laid to bear, as well, and judgments made, despite what I said or how honest I was.  And because of this very traumatic incident, I broke down.

 

Now any reasonable person might ask how one can break down from stuff that happened on a forum site.  And that would be a fair question.  But anyone who has dedicated their time, willingly without expectation, to something they love and/or are passionate about, will tell you the same.  You become emotionally invested in that experience.  It is, in a way, an extension of you.

 

As things began to escalate on the site, I was banned.  And then I was brought back with the offer of owning Empath Community, with the stipulation that I would have to endure public humiliation on the same site I was being offered.  Upon my refusal and the establishment of new moderators on site, I was again banned from site, being told only that I was no a good fit for Empath Community.(the irony of this never ceases to make me laugh)

 

So from that time to now, I have been, for the most part, unable to write while I was nursing my broken heart and healing.  But I getting better now and I feel more apt to be able to write.  I also feel it necessary to say, that despite what happens publicly or privately, we (the writers of EP) will keep learning, growing, and sharing our many different perspectives with each and every one of you.

 

Deconstructing The Highly Sensitive Person Part 1

•July 1, 2011 • Leave a Comment

There are a great many perspectives to take when it comes to Highly Sensitive People and Empaths. For one, you can see it through a psychic lens, watching the flow of energy from one point to another, or you can view it through a religious lens, the ability of discernment. However, for the scope of this blog, I’ll take a scientific and psychological perspective. I’ll break down the causes and effects of being Highly Sensitive, as well as examine exactly how it all works to make one empathic, as opposed to empathetic.

Continue reading ‘Deconstructing The Highly Sensitive Person Part 1’

Deconstructing The Highly Sensitive Person Part 2

•July 1, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Earlier I wrote the first part of this blog series, you can find it here. This blog is more of a personal nature. I examined the archetypal empath from many perspectives, mostly scientific and psychological, but there was very little of an actual HSP inside. This blog is the other half. The yin to it’s yang.

A more apt title would probably be: Confessions of a Highly Sensitive Person

Continue reading ‘Deconstructing The Highly Sensitive Person Part 2’

>Is Empathy Really a Gift?

•June 6, 2011 • Leave a Comment

>Is Empathy Really a Gift?

     A lot of people believe Empathy is a gift. I don’t go that far, I just identify with the term in a lot of different ways but the bottom line is that empathy is a natural part of me. I could chalk all this up to semantics but in my experience, people really embody the term empathy. This spiritual actualization deserves a closer look.

What is gift? The free dictionary on Bing says this:
Definitions of gift (n)

gift [ gift ] something given: something that is given to somebody, usually on order to provide pleasure or to show gratitude special talent: a natural ability that somebody appears to have been born with, especially
an artistic ability or social skill
act of giving: the act of giving something to somebody
Synonyms: present, donation, contribution, reward, bequest, award, endowment, grant, offering

    Empathy as a gift is usually seen in the usage of ‘a natural ability that somebody appears to have been born with, especially an artistic ability or social skill’. Everyone is born with empathy to some degree or another, so in a loose sense, empathy is a gift.

    I got to thinking about Empathy as a gift after musing on the book, “A Wrinkle In Time” by Madeleine L’Engle. In chapter 6 ‘The Happy Medium’ the main character and her younger brother and new friend are given gifts. These gifts are necessary for Meg (the main Character) and company to defeat the “It” who has ensorceled Meg’s father.

Below is an excerpt;
“You will need help,” Mrs. Whatsit told them, “but all I am allowed to give you is a little talisman. Calvin (The Friend), your great gift is your ability to communicate, to communicate with all kinds of people. So, for you, I will strengthen this gift. Meg, I give you your faults.”


“My Faults!” Meg cried.


“Your faults.”


“But I’m always trying to get rid of my faults!”

At first glance, these seem like lousy gifts, if they are gifts at all. Calvin already possesses the gift of communication (Empathy anyone?) And Meg clearly has and acknowledges her faults. It is a clever bit of irony, making gifts of gifts but there is a deeper meaning hidden in Meg’s faults.

What is a fault?

Again, the free dictionary defines fault as;
Definitions of fault (n)
fault [ fawlt ] responsibility for mistake: responsibility for a mistake, failure, or act of wrongdoing
personal shortcoming: a failing or character weakness in somebody
defect: something that detracts from the integrity, functioning, or perfection of something  else
Synonyms: responsibility, liability, burden, culpability, accountability

    In the story, Meg’s faults are stubbornness, obstinance and her innate ability to think for herself. Meg’s personality leaves her little room to be anything but herself. In Meg’s teenage world, this is a huge fault and causes her nothing but difficulty in her everyday life. In the unique circumstance of saving her father from an entity known as “It”, everyone will depend on Meg’s constant flaws to break away from the indulgent “It”.
   
    The real gift isn’t Meg’s faults but her new found knowledge that her faults, if applied correctly aren’t faults at  all but a huge and necessary gift.
That is what empathy is to me, a sometimes fault that requires us to gain knowledge so we can utilize the gift of empathy effectively.

“Simple Gifts”
written by Elder Joseph
‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d,
To bow and bend we shan’t be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right
Ecclesiastes 3:11
“He hath made every thing beautiful in its time: also he hath set the world in their heart, yet so that man cannot find out the work that God hath done from the beginning even to the end.”

For more of my musings visit me on my social network http://kindredcuriosity.ning.com/

>Spare some change?

•May 8, 2011 • Leave a Comment

>

“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

-Mahatma Ghandi

The word ‘change’ frightens many people. Maybe it’s because of its connection to the word ‘chaos’, maybe it’s because of humanity’s innate fear of the unknown. Let’s be honest here, we’re all afraid that one day, we’ll wake up and our life as we know it will be turned on its head. People naturally prefer the safety and comfort of what they know over the vast, deep, dark unknown.

Here’s an interesting fact about change, though: add the word ‘life’ as a prefix, and suddenly it becomes much less terrifying. This simple word, once synonomous with chaos and unpredictability, becomes synonomous with growth and personal development. If stagnation is the greatest enemy of mankind, most of us seek that one experience in life that ‘throws open the doors’ so to speak. Call it what you will: enlightenment, a personal connection to God, the love of your friends and family, or simply the realization that maybe, just maybe, you don’t have it as bad as you think. It all boils down to this: we all seek that one pivotal life-changing moment.

Change may be associated with chaos, but do you know what it’s also associated with? Growth. Development. Every invention of mankind started with someone looking at the world around him and wanting to improve it. Every major philosophy, every major religion, began when someone chose to shake off the bonds of stagnation and take a single step into the aforementioned deep, dark unknown. To take it to a more personal level, look at your life. I guarantee that every major accomplishment you have ever made was due to your desire to change, to grow and to further develop yourself.

Here’s another interesting fact of change, and one that is best illustrated by a simple quote:

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

This quote, taken from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, has always stayed in my mind. No matter how disastrous an event may seem, there is always, always, always something to learn from it. Even in the midst of chaos, even in the darkest moment of your life, change is still pushing us to learn, grow and improve ourselves. This bears repeating in bright red, italicized text: there is always something to learn from every situation!

As a matter of fact, I recently had this conversation with my sister. To test this belief, she threw a number of increasingly disastrous, dark events at me. Maybe it’s due to my annoyingly optimistic outlook on life, but I was able to find a silver lining in each and every event. As chaotic as the world may be at times, it’s my firm belief that there is always a lesson to be learned.

To illustrate this point, I’ll share a fairly recent event in my life, as well as the lessons I learned from this particular change:

In December of last year, shortly after Christmas, I found myself pulled into the manager’s office at work. This in and of itself wasn’t all too surprising: I am at heart a rather lazy and easily distracted person, and have difficulty applying myself to a task for more than a few hours. (As a quick aside, this is why I’m not as prolific an author here as, say, Misu. Also, she’s more interesting than I am, but I digress.)

Despite this aspect of my personality making me less than popular with my bosses, I had always seen myself as an indispensable part of my job. As it turns out, this was not so, and I quickly found myself without a job. Life lesson learned: rein in your ego, you are never as indispensable as you think.

What made this situation worse was that I was less than $300 from paying off my car. I had always taken great pride in my vehicle, and saw it as my first move towards true independence and a major accomplishment in my life. Now here I was, without a job and facing the fact that I may lose my car. Thankfully, a friend came through for me and loaned me the $300. Life lesson learned: there are some people who will be there for you, no matter what. Appreciate these people.

To make a long story short, I was without a job for almost a month. Despite my inherent laziness, I do not enjoy being unemployed. Although I grew desperate over this month, an opportunity for employment finally fell into my lap. While it may not be the best or highest-paying job in the world, it’s still a job. It puts food in my stomach, gas in my car, and occasionally allows me to enjoy an alcoholic beverage and some horrible karaoke with friends. Special life lesson two-for-one: it could always be worse, and, given time, it gets better.

I’m sure you can think of more profound examples in your life. I can most certainly think of more profound examples in mine. I just chose this one as a simple, fairly recent example that I could illustrate with my own special brand of annoying humor.

The fact of the matter is this: for every door that slams in your face, countless others open. Don’t be afraid to step through those doors, and don’t fear the changes in your life. Accept them as they come, make the most of them, learn from them. Take a lesson from every event, every change, in your life and never stop growing.

Isn’t that what life’s all about?